Real People, Real Relationships: Insecurity

Real People, Real Relationships - Freedom and Grace

17Now the Lord^e is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord,^f are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

2Corinthians 3:17-18 (ESV)

Have a listen to this song before we dive in! Feel free to dance...

     FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!!!! I've been excited to write this post for quite a while so I hope you enjoy it and that it helps provoke you to enjoy the fullness of your freedom in Christ! I've been hearing a lot of things about freedom  that I feel  misrepresent, abuse or cheapen it which have upset me and I'd like to address some of those things but most of all I hope to paint a picture of the true nature of the freedom that was won for us at the cross! Of course that sounds like I think I have all the answers and I don't so please read with discernment and go to the Word, Berean style (Acts 17:11) There is plenty of opportunity for offence in here so I pray that you hear His heart over my words. Enjoy : )

     I was thinking about the phrase "Freedom in Christ" the other day and just pondering what it really meant. I believe that freedom in Christ is a precious and invaluable gift we have been given and so I really want to use it to its fullest and steward it well! Apparently every cell in your body contains your DNA (back me up anatomy people) which is the written code of what makes up your physical body. If I were to take a cell from anywhere in your body and was able to read your DNA I'd be able to tell not only that that cell belongs to you but from it I'd also be able to tell you other things such as your eye colour and your blood type etc. I feel like I'm over-stepping the boundaries of my biological knowledge with this analogy now so I guess what I notice first about this freedom is that it is IN Christ and I think that is essential to really getting the nature of it. Our repentance and faith in Jesus that we received by grace separated us from our old life as God gave us new life placing us in Christ. Anything that is found in Christ is going to filled with His DNA, His genetic makeup, in essence His attitudes and values. That includes us and our freedom. I believe that our freedom in Christ is first a freedom from the law of sin and death (meaning that we are no longer bound to sin and separated from God but rather we have been freed from sin and returned to our relationship with God, reconciled) and secondly a freedom to become like Him. As He was free from sin, He has made us free from sin also by sacrificing Himself in our place. When we die to ourselves we live in His life and He lives His life in us and through us. Basically this just means that we walk, talk and act more like Jesus. 

     There's a tradition in a lot of secondary or high schools to pull some sort of prank when you are leaving and about to move on to the next stage of your education. I don't think I've ever heard a story where all of the final year students came in on their last day to hug their teachers, give them gifts and thank them for their hard work and sacrifice. Typically cunning acts of sabotage and theft occur with either humorous or costly results. Liberated from the school rules, the students' true feelings towards the school and the teachers are quickly exposed and displayed. The freedom that Christ gives us is a gift that keeps on giving because it exposes what's really going on in our hearts so that with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can deal with it. When we respond to our freedom in ways that don't reflect the beauty of the nature of Jesus it should set off some alarm bells and cause us to question what's going on in our hearts and what is our true value of Him. Paul addresses this a bit, replying to something someone had said to him about their freedom in Christ.

     “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.

1Corinthians 6:12 (ESV)

I think it can be very tempting to act according to the flesh and then justify it by claiming freedom in Christ. Personally I think that is one of the most offensive things a Christian can do. I think it is an abuse and a mockery of the grace of God in Christ who died to free us from obeying the flesh. It's wilfully going against our new nature of righteousness, hurting the heart of God and then trying to use God's gift of freedom in Christ to excuse our behaviour. Before you envision me on a high horse, I have done it too. But it is NOT ok! If my "freedom in Christ" leads me to give authority to carnality and fleshly desires in my life, maybe I need to consider what it means to be dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus (Rom 6:11). If my "freedom in Christ" leads me to act more like the world, maybe I need a greater experience of who He is and what He is like (1John 2:6). If my "freedom in Christ" leads me to do less for the Lord and more for myself, maybe I need to check if I have any faith at all (James 2:26) If my "freedom in Christ" leads me back into slavery to sin, maybe I need to check the best-before date or make a complaint to whoever sold it to me. 

Our freedom in Christ is supposed to empower us, not take away our responsibility. 

     Our life in Christ is an altogether new life. It's not about giving new life to our old self but instead putting our old self to death and bringing forth a new self that is just like Jesus (2Cor 3:18). I don't really want to get into sanctification but I'll just say that life as a Christian is about uncovering what Christ is like and therefore who He has made us to be. This means that each day I look, think, speak and act less like my old self and more like Him. When we abuse freedom we preach a false Christ and a false gospel that essentially says "Come to Jesus as you are and stay as you are. His love is unconditional so just accept Him then you can do whatever you want and still go to heaven." I believe this is an incredibly damaging perversion of the message of grace because it robs the cross of its power and the kingdom of the King's purpose. Salvation is not just about escaping hell and punishment but it is being delivered from the power of sin  not just in action but right down to the level of thought and intent until my heart becomes like Eden where I can walk in intimacy with God in unbroken communion. The gospel promises a change of heart as well as eternal destination. Our King desires His people be transformed into a kingdom of priests (Rev 1:4-6) who reflect and project the holiness of God to the world (1Peter 1:15-16). 

     I had a friend when I was a teenager (who is still a much loved and valued friend today) who used to challenge me very directly on how my life was matching up with the life God had called me to in the Scriptures. I remember one occasion where she asked me what I thought of Ephesians 5:4 (go check it out) At the time I'd been hanging around with a group of Christians who frequently engaged in coarse jokes and rude films and would tell others to "lighten up" if their behaviour was challenged. Freedom for some of us has become a shield that we use to protect our sinful or immoral practices from the wisdom and counsel of others. It's not easy to have our lifestyle challenged by other people especially in a world where relativism and individual autonomy is glorified. This way of thinking and living can creep into the Church and cause us to recoil in offence when someone questions our actions or our way of life even if they are straight from Scripture and the heart of God. Grace is and always will be an outrageous truth about God and our relationship with Him. When describing it to the Romans, Paul had to emphasise that the power and availability of grace didn't mean we should continue to sin (Rom 6:1+15) Grace isn't a licence to live in sin, it's a licence to kill it! 

     Swearing, initiating or enjoying dirty humour, getting drunk and having sex outside marriage have probably been the most common things that I've heard Christians try to justify using freedom and grace but if I use my freedom in Christ to act like the world who benefits? I don't because I stop being conformed to His image. They don't because I show them a lifestyle that is just like theirs and either they jump on the bandwagon of half-hearted consecration that leads to death (Rev 3:16)or they reject my hippy Jesus altogether because clearly He has no power to transform and there's no real difference between life with Him and life without Him. Jesus definitely doesn't benefit because the people He wants to know Him end up with a warped view of who He is.  Paul makes it pretty clear when He says that living by the flesh leads to death but living by the Spirit leads to life. In Romans 8:13 Paul tells us that living by the Spirit actually means killing sin, so life in the Spirit is a life of uprooting sinful attitudes and behaviours by the power and grace of the Holy Spirit to make room for the seeds of the oaks righteousness (Isaiah 61:3)that is continually being unveiled in us. There is a higher call! If our freedom is leading us into being conformed to the ways of the world, we're in trouble! (Rom 12:2) We tend to be led into cycles of bondage or addiction where we don't utilise our self-control that exists within our freedom and it begins to wither. It's important to remember that a clean conscience and a seared conscience are not the same thing. A clean conscience has conversed and agreed with the Holy Spirit that all is well in our thoughts and motives. A seared conscience has become numb to the voice and promptings of the Lord through continued disobedience or through our desire to do something being greater than our desire to please the Lord. 

     Just because you "feel at peace about it" doesn't mean it's ok. The fact that God hasn't directly spoken to you about it doesn't mean it's ok. I'd soon find myself in jail if a police officer came round to my crack den to arrest me and I told him "It's ok, I feel like this ok for me to do. I feel at peace about it." If you're in a place where no one can bring challenge or correction into your life unless you agree with them, you're in trouble. As Kris Vallotton says, "the very nature of deception is that you don't know you're deceived." 


     Celebrating freedom in Christ is a beautiful thing! I had a friend text me once to tell me that he was struggling with lust and temptation to look at porn and he wanted me to pray with him. We then had a text convo backwards and forwards just laughing at the idea of him giving in to a defeated foe! We laughed at the thought of him succumbing to temptation when his default is righteousness. We laughed at the idea of him choosing lesser pleasure over Divine pleasure. The temptation went away and he just went to sleep haha. FREEDOM!! There was a time when he was "bound" to sin. It was inevitable. But now he has been "unbound" by the ultimate Freedom Fighter! And for the rest of us there was a time when we were hell-bound but now we've been set free and whom the sets free is free indeed!! (John 8:36) I am free to pray for the sick and see them healed!! I am free to show supernatural love to my enemies in the face of persecution!! I am free to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength!! I am free to experience a relationship of intimacy and obedience with the God who can see all of time, past present and future without even moving His eyes! ("God's Pursuit of Man" - A.W Tozer) I'm so free!! I'm free to love the poor to the point of personal loss because I know that God will provide what I need. Go and find your favourite songs about freedom in Christ and have a rave! Or maybe just sit and think about what He has saved you from and thank Him. 



Jesus you stood alone and took on sin to become our great Saviour! Thank you Lord! Without you were are dead and we are nothing. Thank you for sharing your life with us and making us sons and daughters of God. Thank you for filling us with Your Spirit and daily making us more like you. Help us to desire to see more of our lives given over to You and Your kingdom. Help us not settle for second best or mediocre. Show us how beautiful you are so that the things of the world pale in comparison and we don't want to hold on to them. We want to be salt and light in the world, fully representing you, Your freedom and Your grace.
Amen

Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings : ) 

Braveheart Quotes

Last night I watched Mel Gibson's Braveheart... again. Decided to chuck up some great quotes from the movie. Enjoy! (I know it's apparently not historically accurate so this is not a political statement, just a reflection on an awesome film) If you haven't seen it, get involved! Although I should say also that I've realised my tolerance for gore has been significantly reduced over the last few years and I definitely spent a lot of time looking away from the screen! Be warned!

Malcolm Wallace (William's father)
As a child, William wants to go with his dad to fight some bad guys and his dad pats him on the head and replies:
     "I know you can fight, but it's our wits that make us men."

Later in a dream William's father says to him:
     "Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it."

William Wallace (The Legend)
While the greedy and selfish nobles of the Scottish clans are arguing amongst themselves about who should be the king, William turns to leave and they ask him where he is going and he replies:
     "There's the difference between us. You think that the people of this country exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it."

In challenging one of the prominent nobles to be brave and lead the people Wallace says:
     "Men don't follow titles, they follow courage."

I won't ruin this bit for you but at some point Wallace assures someone that:
     Every man dies. Not every man really lives.


There are tons of other quotes that just won't make sense out of context. Go watch it! Unless you're under 15...

Thanks for reading!

Real People, Real Relationships: Rejection

I think rejection effects most of us on lots of different levels to different degrees. Rejection and its effects can last a lifetime, creating a new lifestyle for us and so its presence will definitely affect our relationships with each other. I guess we should start with the question: "What is rejection?" We experience a negative feeling  in a moment where we believe that something of our personhood e.g. our presence, our ideas or our affection are undesired by another or a group. When we're young this often shapes the way we view the world and causes us to want to protect ourselves from experiencing that feeling again. So the way I'm describing it, rejection is a spirit (or a mindset) of "unwantedness" that colours our perceptions of life and relationships with others. 

When this happens early on in life it has the potential to define our personality and our self-perception. People who succumb to rejection can develop a low level of self esteem and personal value because that is the message they have received from other people. Believing this to be true about themselves, they adopt a lifestyle to match that self-image which can take many forms, some which are hard to see and others which blindingly obvious. Maybe we no longer try to make friends because we don't believe anyone would want to be our friend. Maybe we stop putting our hand up in class because we were laughed at by the class or by the teacher. Maybe we start stalking the one person who showed us kindness, spending hours on their facebook page, texting and calling them at all hours to try and feel close to someone again.

 Rejection can enter our lives in a very small way to start with but when we continue to agree with its lies to us (yup LIES) that we are of no value, we allow its power to grow and spread to other areas of our lives. It creates a new for of logic and deduction for us to check out the world with. Here's an example. Let's say I'm in secondary school (high school if you're american) and I confidently raise my hand to answer the teacher's question, certain that I've got it right. The whole class including the teacher erupts into laughter when I give my hilariously inaccurate answer. Rejection whispers to me "don't put your hand up any more, you have nothing to offer to these people." I agree. Someone in the class has a party at the weekend and everyone receives an invite apart from me. In reality my invitation has been left somewhere for me but Rejection says "You're not invited because you're not wanted." I think to myself, well Rejection has been right so far so I don't ask if I am invited or not. Throughout my life I can then follow this pattern of behaviour. I never put any of my new ideas forward in the workplace, I never ask a group if I can hang out with them. To people on the outside it may seem as though I'm just "shy" or "quiet" when  actually I'm a prisoner of Rejection, trapped in a self-built cage of loneliness. (Just to be clear I'm not saying that everyone who is shy or quiet struggles with rejection)

Rejection either makes us distance ourselves from people or it causes us to latch on to anyone who gets close to us, neither of which is healthy behaviour. Distancing ourselves may not just be physical distance e.g. sitting alone hiding behind a book. It can also include keeping our distance emotionally or in our personality with people which means that we're never honestly ourselves with people. Rejection is therefore the enemy of true Freedom and is rooted in Fear which is the enemy of Love. These two working together keep us from receiving the love we need from God and from others because most of us only accept the love we believe we deserve. Rejection also partners with Insecurity ensuring that we're only ever fully ourselves around people who are like us. This is how a lot of exclusive groups and cliques form. When Rejection has a voice in our lives we feel uncomfortable around people who aren't like us and perhaps we tone down certain aspects of our personality in those situations or act like we just don't care at all. Rejection is the enemy of integrity which is our ability to live on the outside who we are on the inside. Rejection eats at our integrity and gives birth to compromise in our lives by making us put on a false self. We find any external evaluation of ourselves uncomfortable or even scary so we pretend that we don't care what others think of us or we try really hard to impress people so they don't reject us. A classic example is the child hanging out with the friends of an older sibling. They will try hard to be liked and to be cool, pretending to not be scared of watching horror films.

The loneliness that accompanies Rejection can make us VERY sensitive to affection and so the second we meet someone who is nice to us or who listens to us or who tells us something positive about ourselves, we immediately try to form a concrete bond with them in the hope that they will never leave us and continue to feed us the love we've so desperately craved for so long. I think I see this most clearly in unhealthy teenage relationships. Rejection assaults teenagers aggressively and so there are plenty of young people (who grow into older people) who feel marooned on islands of solitude because no one "understands them". Perhaps they pretend to be happy about it, or nonchalant about it. Perhaps they've never really known anything else. Then one day a boy or girl comes along who apparently does understand them. "Oh my gosh Becky, he just gets me, you know?" "I can't explain it bro, it's just like she really sees me, you know?" Very quickly they become obsessed with this person and start their mission to lock this person into their life. Sometimes this person is equally lonely or has a saviour complex and this quickly develops into a very unhealthy relationship. As we get older these relationships may not even be romantic in nature but Rejection is still the driving force. Sometimes the person being pursued is shocked by the sudden new attachment to their lives. They begin to feel uncomfortable with the level of closeness and the consistency of communication this person is trying to have with them and it begins to make them not want to be around this person. They feel drained after spending time with them and the thought of spending more time with them becomes depressing. Remember the one who is under the influence of Rejection still has little value for themselves and so they come to the relationship to take and receive, thinking that they don't really have anything to give. If the person they are pursuing withdraws from them Rejection picks up the slack quickly confirming "See, nobody values you because there is nothing to value." Rejection often justifies itself in people saying "Of course people won't like me I'm too...or I'm not...enough." Constant self criticism, evaluation and analysis becomes normal or maybe we even ignore ourselves altogether. This can make us look really humble or even spiritual but it is actually low self esteem on steroids.

Hopefully at this point you've been able to identify the effects of Rejection in your own life or in the lives of people you know. If not, go back and read through again. If you think you're good and Rejection has no voice whatsoever in your life then look for the benefit of others in your life. Don't force it and blow things out of proportion but instead be honest with yourself and if that is difficult ask the Lord or ask a close friend what they think (if that thought scares you, you might be on to something). I think it's very important that the presence of Rejection is recognised in our lives. Why? It will help us to recognise when we are developing unhealthy relationships with people either because they are love-starved or because we are. It will help us to recognise when fear has become a motivator in our lives to keep us away from people that can help us. But most importantly We have to deal with Rejection otherwise we can never truly love. Love involves risk and rejection avoids it like the plague. Love empowers us to run headlong into the possibility of rejection without fear. Let's take a look at Jesus in Luke 19. He's coming into Jerusalem, overflowing with love but knowing that they are going to reject Him.

41As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”

The crazy thing to me is that He didn't stop! He knows that they are going to reject Him. He knows that they are going to mock Him. He knows that they are even going to kill Him but He pushes on, propelled by the love in His heart for people. He knows that the message He carries and the blood in His veins are of infinite, unparalleled value. True Love risks rejection and overcomes it. The only way we can overcome Rejection is by hearing the voice of the One who always accepts us and listening to what He says about us. When we allow God to speak His love and value over us and let it permeate our hearts, minds and emotions, it reveals the truth of who we are and strengthens us to live from a place of security (I'd like to write about insecurity soon) instead of trying to get to one through all sorts of avenues.

The presence of Rejection in our lives is not ok. It gives us a cracked lens to see the world through and warps our perception of our relationships with other people. It is a controlling influence in our lives that desires to keep us out of healthy connections with people that are mutually beneficial and uplifting. It can rob us of our identity and cause us to live life as a performance as someone else. It starves us of love, making us emotionally callous or uncomfortably desperate to touch others which can drive them away. Rejection wants to trap us in such cycles. Freedom from Rejection is a must! When we live free from rejection we are able to let others judge us, hearing and considering their thoughts without letting their judgements harm us.

Father thank you for Your love. Thank you Lord that You know us best and You love us most. Help us to value ourselves and each other by the standard of Your love. We break agreement with Rejection and its lies about us and we receive Your truth that we are loveable and valuable. Help us to draw out the good that You've breathed into us and to display it to others for Your glory. We receive Your love in the name of Jesus.
Amen.

Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Thanks for reading

My friend Caleb Meakins is subjecting himself to 40 Days of Rejection to help him overcome his fear of rejection and inspire others to do the same. Check his hilarious videos and blog here: http://my40days.co.uk/

Poem - My Grace is Sufficient

Questions, questions, all I have is questions.
Can I do this? Am I strong enough? Do I have what it takes?
A cacophony of questions meets the echo of answers long past.
“No you can’t. No you’re not. No you don’t.”
I fall to my knees as belief bleeds out from me and my heart grows cold, weary from dreaming. Trying hurts. Why try when I can lie in dust of defeat? I’ll be coming here later anyway...
“Ask Me.” That voice. Beauty and terror at the same time, delight and dread intertwined.
Each word pulsating with power and radiating with love, calling me; daring me to obey.
“Ask Me.” The voice that chased away the darkness in the beginning does the same in depths of my heart as the light of hope burns brighter than ever before in me.
I turn my affections towards Him and brace myself as my heart asks the questions. Before my lips can give the external echo I am completely undone.
I burst with faith as His strength rips through my weakness and brings it to nothing.
The roar of a lion shakes the foundations of age-old strongholds and they begin to crumble.
I feel His life invade my veins, every cell in my body is revitalised, reshaped and remade, primed with passion and purpose.
Insecurity flees to the shadows as the Truth illuminates the darkest parts of my mind.
“My grace is sufficient for you.” He says.
I have to agree.

Seasons: Catching the Wind

     I'd like to share my thoughts about one of the ways the Holy Spirit works in us as Christians and what I believe God has revealed to me about it. I don't think it's the whole answer at all but it's something I've been trying and testing in my own life and I think it's helpful to consider. I'll just share what's on my heart and you can take it yourself to the Lord and to the Word and see what He shows you. Please feel encouraged to be discerning as you read and I'd love to hear your thoughts and feedback!!

     Have you ever had an experience where a particular part of your walk with God is just going incredibly well? Maybe you're seeing LOADS of people come to Jesus or ask about Him or everyone you pray for gets healed or you're just so passionate about laying your life down for others or you have a burst of creativity and you're churning out paintings and songs and dances!! Whatever it is, it's just great and you're loving it!! Soaring on cloud 9! Then suddenly without warning it ends! Arrgh Nightmare! You're not riding quite so high any more! You break out in emergency prayers and start examining your heart for sin! Maybe you put in extra effort to whatever it was that was going so well and try to get your "mojo" back. Nothing. Nada. Zip What on earth happened??

     I believe God works in our lives on a seasonal basis. I know that for me especially this is an expression of His grace as I suck at multi-tasking and thinking about too many things at a time really does me in! I think that each season God brings us into is a season of growth because we always go from glory to glory but each one can look very different. I'm finding that learning to recognise these seasonal movements is key to my development in Christ because it keeps me from frustration, striving and self-righteousness as well as helping me to better partner with the Holy Spirit and what He's doing in me. In different seasons at different times I believe God gives us grace in a particular area of our lives to manifest Christ in us and become more like Him. During these times we grow a lot but having spoken to a few people about this and having seen it first hand, it's pretty easy to think that things are going so well because let's face it, "I'm awesome". We get really full ourselves because we assume God is moving in response to our commitment or our righteousness and so when the season ends and the grace is removed, of course we assume it's because of something that we've done! "Have I sinned? Have I not spent enough time in prayer or read my Bible enough today? Why isn't it working??

     This space between the end of a season and us discovering what the next one is is often the time the enemy takes to attack us and try to sabotage the fruit of the previous season and plant his own evil seeds for the next season. He'll offer us guilt and convince us that God has left us because of something we've done or not done or he'll offer us the opportunity to be offended at God because we did everything right and we deserve His grace (both of which of course are stupid). This can cause us to not believe in the power of the fruit we saw in the previous season and to miss the one we're coming in to because we don't trust God to lead us. Seeds of doubt and bitterness can then grow in the soil of our hearts and bear bad fruit in the seasons to come and cause untold damage. Bad times. In the wilderness Jesus was tempted by satan to question His identity and His relationship with the Father. But the Word says that it was the Holy Spirit who actually led Jesus into and out of the wilderness and I think this is key for us to understand for our own lives. 

     Sometimes I just decide that I want to focus more on a particular aspect of my faith and I just try really, really hard at something for a while then get confused and disheartened when it doesn't work out. I'm starting to be increasingly convinced that being "led" by the Holy Spirit is about more than just who to pray for. I think that each season we enter comes with a new pair of glasses. If we put them on, our focus and perspective changes and enables us to better respond to what He does in our lives. If I understand that God is leading me into a season of humility then I will react differently to situations and people who annoy me, recognising that I have the opportunity to react in pride or in humility. If I understand that God is leading me into a season of developing in the gift of prophecy I will dedicate more of my time to listening to His voice, reading His Word and understanding how He speaks to me and developing in my love for others. Knowing the seasons we're in and what God is wanting to do in our lives at present will help us to partner with the Holy Spirit's plans to make us more like Jesus. We'll know which books to read, who to spend our time with and how and what to pray for. We'll be able to let those close to us know what God is doing in us so that they can encourage, challenge and support us in it so we don't chicken out or get lazy. If I know that God has me in a season of developing great vision, I'll hang out more with my friends who have great vision and read books about people with great vision. This will keep my heart and mind focussed on what God is doing and enable me to be taught by Him. 

     "Wait Tony are you saying you think that there are times when God is not wanting us to develop in humility?" Haha I probably won't say that outright but I think at different times He has different focusses and how we respond to these emphases has an affect on our life and transformation. I don't think it's entirely dependent on that and there are several other factors but I think that our level of obedience in a season determines the length of the season. If we just flat out refuse to move forward in what He is leading us into, He may just press the matter for a long time. The issue with that is the more we resist Him, often the easier it gets. For example, if He presses us to grow in our purity or integrity by removing dodgy music from our ipod (ouch, see my blog on Irrational Passion) and we resist, we can eventually become callous to His pressing in that area and convince ourselves that He's actually not that bothered about it or that we're overreacting which can lead us into further compromise.

     I hope you don't mind me getting a little allegorical for a sec. I believe that the work of the Holy Spirit in us is much like that of a gardener. Original I know (!).  We sometimes play the part of the childish helping hand who've come to help the gardener during our school holidays. We haven't spent any time with Him and we don't know anything about gardening! With hope and excitement in His eyes He plants seeds of all shapes and sizes and diligently waters them while nothing can be seen on the surface. We get real bored of waiting really fast! In our immaturity sometimes we see the first fruit of what has been planted and immediately think that is the be all and end all! We pull it up out of the ground or we pick the tree clean and run around showing it to everyone, maybe we sell it off in pieces or maybe we display it on our wall or maybe we chop it up and throw it into a stew but either way we use it up and its gone and we're confused. The next time something blooms we watch the gardener instead. He closely inspects it. Seeing unhealthy portions he prunes it or He gives it more water and allows it to grow more and then leaves it and moves His attention to something else that is very well developed and bursting with fruit. Removing some of the fruits he makes them into a soup and gives it people who are sick or hungry then he takes the rest of the fruits and plants them in the ground.

     In the garden of our life God plants seeds of what He wants us to become. Seeds of character, seeds of gifting, seeds of dreams and careers. In our immature and finite thinking we often think that as soon as something comes of it it's time to jump into high gear! Maybe we write a book or we tell people about our spiritual power and authority and make a reputation for ourselves. So often we grab a hold of things in impatience that aren't fully grown yet (maybe God is working on our patience haha) and we stop nurturing and cultivating with Him and we end up either producing tiny, anaemic, premature fruit and make it out to be greater than it is or we stop producing. The Holy Spirit is very clever (duh) and if we watch Him and walk with Him instead of running haphazardly around the garden and just picking whatever has bright colours or looks tasty we will learn a lot. When we stop trying to produce fruit that will impress other people and join Him in producing fruit that will help and heal other people, I think we're onto something. We learn that anything He grows in us is designed to benefit others not just to make us famous or popular so we take whatever He produces in us and share it with people. When compassion is produced we take it to those who need compassion. When faith for physical, mental or emotional healing is produced we take it to those who are hurting. However it's important to remember that there is always more growing to be done. As we join Him in His work in the garden we grow stronger and find that as seasons come and go we are able to carry more of what is produced and accelerate quicker in our personal growth.
Sometimes we celebrate a single tree when God wants to grow orchards! 

Of course I totally think we should rejoice at the slightest sense of growth and thank the God of the universe that He is giving time and attention to our hearts but we should always expect that there is more He wants to do in us. Remember: An orchard can continue bearing fruit long after the original apple has gone.

     I think it's important to say also that at the end of any season we don't go back to square one but we've always moved forward from one degree of glory to another. In the words of Paul Manwaring, "He gets you ready and He wastes nothing." Our awareness of how much we've grown often is inaccurate and the truth isn't revealed until later and in the mean time we just have to trust Him, thank Him and follow Him. Seasons often overlap and as we get to know His heart and His mind we can begin to know to a small extent what the next step of the journey will be. The Bible talks about how the anointing of the Holy Spirit actually teaches us. I'd like to suggest that the seasonal movement of our lives can be attributed to the fact that at different times in our lives we're more anointed in particular things and less so in others as the Holy Spirit draws more attention to one area of our lives than another.
 Let's learn to catch the winds of grace so we can ride on the waves of favour!

Disclaimer

• God is far too extravagant for us to always be able to predict what He's going to do and so we can't get all formulaic about seasons or we risk restricting the Holy Spirit's work. He's like the wind after all! 
• Sometimes when you've had a ton of grace in a season, God removes it so that you will seek after Him for the fullness of what you tasted and not simply move on to something else.
• When seasons overlap you can find that you're harvesting the fruit of one season while nurturing the seeds of the next.

Thanks for reading! Part 2 to come!

Irrational Passion

     Growing up in a Christian household was pretty tame (not in a bad way Mum if you're reading this...) so I  often went looking for fun and excitement elsewhere. My parents had fairly strict rules to keep me and my brother safe (thank you) but outside the house was a little bit of a different story. Climbing on things, sneaking into places, breaking stuff and being chased by dogs were regular features in my childhood. The thrill of doing things that were a little bit dangerous and maybe would be frowned upon definitely filled a hole in me. I "prayed a prayer" at about age 6 or 7 but like so many others I really gave my life to Jesus later in life when I was 12 at a youth camp (shout out to ma youth camp peeps! holla!). I'm 24 now and in the last 12 or so years * I've experienced the ebbs and flows of Christian life and the "normal" ups and downs. I've had times when I've thought I could not be more in love with Jesus and I want to spend the night on the streets with Him and the homeless people and then I've had times when in my mind reading a chapter of the Bible is considered my "good deed for the day". Yikes

     Since going to university in 2007 I've hung out with lots of different kinds of Christians from all sorts of backgrounds, denominations and ages and watched their lives and allowed lots of them to influence mine. Some of these influences have been massively beneficial and have created in me a greater hunger and desire for Jesus and I'm so grateful for those people! Seriously! I hope you know who you are!! I've seen people handle their faith and their relationship with God in very different ways with some considering it to be an almost secret and personal matter while others travel the globe to shout about it.
     Where I am on my own journey I've decided that there's no other satisfying way for me to live but in passionate, life-consuming love with Jesus. I believe as Christians we all carry this DEEP longing to give our all to Him and spend our life on Him and Him alone whatever that looks like. We may not always be aware of it but it's definitely there, deep crying out to deep! Something in our core stands in awe and greatly admires the lives of our heroes of the faith, past and present that are totally sold out and laid down in love before God. Their  unthinkable sacrifice for the cause of Christ resounds with something in our own spirits. We (dare I say it) jealously desire to know the intimacy they shared with God, the clarity with which they heard His voice and the incomparable power and conviction they found in Him to do what seemed impossible. As we hear these stories our hearts burn within us but there's a voice that speaks often with the accent of wisdom that tells us to "calm down" or "be reasonable" or for those of us who're younger to "wait until we're older". I don't dispute that this voice often comes from well-meaning sources and is sometimes apt but I would like to respectfully challenge it as I also believe in some cases its source is not Divine. Since I believe that there is a root of wisdom in that voice I'm not going to deny it entirely but I am going to give a pretty one-sided perspective. I hope that's ok with you friend : )

     I don't know about you but personally I am amazing at excusing my lukewarmness and lack of passion for Christ and apathetic attitude and calling it patience, wisdom or even maturity when really it's just apathy. I've been to Bible College so on a regular basis I can probably even whip out some Scripture to back me up and validate my avoidance of giving any more of myself or my life to God to do as He pleases. Part of my problem is though, the longer I spend in the Word, the more I find words and phrases that start to make me uncomfortable and make it difficult for me to enjoy my lukewarm bubble bath. Whispers of something greater, deeper and wilder turn my hot tub into an ice bath. I'll share some of them with you and what they mean to me since you're here...

"Sacrifice"
     In English we understand this word to pretty much mean giving something up for the sake of something or someone else at your own expense. We're called to be a living sacrifice. I understand that I am in Christ so in Him I have everything I need and the Father will take care of me but I also understand that I belong to Him and everything I have is His. Because of this I've had a few moments in my life in which I've felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to give away something that I like or that I think I need to someone who doesn't have that thing (or who does) or to buy something for someone even sometimes when materially I don't have much myself. Honestly, at the time I often don't like doing this and it's usually preceded by a "Kevin the Teenager" style whining argument from me. "But Looooooooord..." etc. After I've done it however guess what happens?
I get flooded with the peace and joy of God because Christ in me got to enjoy being Himself and He's very happy about it! I realise that giving of myself sometimes even to a painful degree is in my DNA now because it's in His. The Saviour was marked by a life of sacrifice. 
Sometimes He finds a way to give me back what I gave away and more but sometimes it doesn't go down like that but He says that when we serve others we serve Him right? (Prov 19:17) Why would you expect something back from someone you're serving...? I know a certain couple who at one time in their life knew that some people living nearby didn't have any food or money to buy it and so they decided to start giving most of their food to these people and would themselves go days without eating!! Some of us already have that voice speaking up in our heads "That's not wise!" "You really have to hear the Lord on that one..." Let me repeat that I don't necessarily think that this advice is wrong, I just believe that sacrifice is core to Christianity and sacrifice by its very nature, costs us something. If it doesn't cost us anything, it's not a sacrifice. On that note, let's move on. : )

"Count the Cost"
     Luke 14:25-33 makes me cringe when I read it. If you can't be bothered to look it up (I probably wouldn't) here it is in the NIV:

      25Now large crowds were going along with Him; and He turned and said to them,26“If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.27“Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.28“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?29“Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who observe it begin to ridicule him,30saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish.’31“Or what king, when he sets out to meet another king in battle, will not first sit down and consider whether he is strong enough with ten thousand men to encounter the one coming against him with twenty thousand?32“Or else, while the other is still far away, he sends a delegation and asks for terms of peace.33“So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.
Luke 14:25-33 (NIV)

Jesus talks here about thinking about how much you'll have to surrender if you decide to actually walk out this Christianity thing. Banning Liebscher, a Christian leader and a hero of mine while preaching said "Salvation is free right? Yes, it just costs you your whole life." I'm not talking about earning your salvation or "striving" here. Jesus is the only one who can save. But He's pretty clearly saying here that life with Him and life without Him are as different as Life and Death. To walk with Him is to join Him in His suffering as well as in His victory. I'm talking about the heart of David that refuses to offer God something that cost him nothing (1Chron 21:24). Banning who predominantly ministers to teenagers and young adults went on to say "I am increasingly concerned with a generation whose Christianity has cost them nothing." Here's a link to Banning's preach. Listen to him, he's amazing - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ekKgF8jxlk

     As I said before I've grown up in the church and a lot has been handed to me. I love my church and our leaders and so much great teaching has just been handed to me since I was a child. Some people become Christians and get mocked by their friends or thrown out of their families or worse! I've fought many battles against God when He's asked me to lay things down that I love and enjoy. I can remember a friend of mine who wasn't a Christian highlighting a song in my itunes and saying "You shouldn't be listening to that." Ouch! I had to admit she was right and on several occasions I had to painfully go through my playlist with the Holy Spirit and it got A LOT smaller. He didn't stop there however. I started to find that films and TV shows that I used to watch and love had to go as well. Again the voice of reason jumps up and says "Hey you can listen to whatever music you want, you're free in Christ." "God doesn't care what you watch as long as you live right." I think there's some real truth in there and I'm not trying to make a point about what anyone should and shouldn't listen to or watch or whatever.
I had to ask myself some questions about whether or not I was willing and why it was so difficult for me to give up those things and let them go. This was a very small cost that was required of me and it makes me wonder if I've counted the cost at all since giving my life to Him. I was privileged to speak to a young man who'd just been in a scrap with a member of his youth group about self-control and managing your emotions. He said something I found pretty profound. He simply said "Christianity is hard." I think sometimes we can get so into teaching people that "God is a God of love" (which is true) and that "the Holy Spirit is a gentleman" that we end up accidentally telling them that God won't ask them to do anything they don't want to or that will cause them great discomfort. That's simply not true and a quick reading of Scripture will prove that. I really don't think "take up your cross" is a particularly pleasant invitation.

 "You knew one thing about a man you saw carrying a cross, he wasn't coming back."

A.W Tozer

"Love the Lord"
     Classic bit of Scripture this. Jesus says that the most important thing God has ever told us to do is love God with our whole mind, heart and soul and with all of our strength (Luke 10:27, Mark 12:30, Matt 22:37). Wow! This is one of those verses I think that you can hear so much growing up in the church that it loses its outrageousness and just becomes something that's nice to do haha! I don't really want to go too deep in this blog into the ins and outs of what it means to love God with our whole mind, heart and soul (except to say that I don't think I'm doing it) but I would like to point something out I noticed about strength. If you were asked to do a physical activity with all of your strength, you'd understand that you were required to do it until you were exhausted right? Either until you were working at maximum capacity or until you had no strength left. If you've ever lifted weights in the gym there comes a point when you're no longer capable of lifting anything more and your muscles max out. This is how you get your muscles to grow bigger and stronger. I think we're on to something with that. Loving the Lord with all our strength leads to an increase in our capacity to love Him. 

     Personally I think the words "I love you" should never come as a surprise but rather should confirm the experience someone has already of you in their life because Love is a verb, a "doing word". It should be like walking up to your employer after working for them for 20 years and saying "I work for you." What's my point? Erm......hang on...... OH YEAH! Telling God that we love Him is not the same as loving Him. Jesus makes it clear that loving God is caring about and acting based on what is important to His heart (John 14:15). Try and think back to a time when you've given of your physical or emotional strength and energy to accomplish something that you knew was dear to God's heart and by the time you finished it you were absolutely shattered! (don't feel bad if you can't think of a time like that, just look forward to one!) Even though you felt like your arms or legs or whatever muscle operates your emotions was about to fall off, I bet you felt His pleasure! While it was going on I bet you were wondering where you were finding the strength! (I reckon that's where running and not growing weary comes in) A few years ago I went on a 2 week mission trip to the Welsh valleys and would collapse into bed each night totally spent but to this day I still feel God's delight for the people who were touched and changed and saved during that time. Thoughts about "not spreading yourself too thin" creep to mind and of course it's "easy for you to say, you're an energetic young man". Fair enough. I just think that rationalising passion is like putting a basket on a flame. One of two things may happen. Either the flame will go out altogether or it will burn away the basket. There's something about love that is fierce and untameable while not lacking discipline. To me, rational passion looks like dead religion. I'm not talking about being foolish but I am saying that the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom (1Cor 1:25) and that we need to increase in discerning the difference.

"Pretty much anything Jesus said about how to treat other people..."
     Jackie Pullinger, another hero of the faith said that it was still difficult for Jesus to lay His life down even though He spent His whole life practising. But how crazy is that?! He spent His whole life practising! Anyway that is how He was able to get away with saying so many things that I find damaging to my own self interest! These things just do not compute with me!! If someone demands your coat, give them your shirt as well?!? (Luke 6:29) You what?? Not even asks, demands!! How does that make sense?? How about love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you?? (Matt 5:44) That's waaay beyond passivity, tolerance and restraint. That's pretty much "Dear Lord, please heal Jonny's knuckles that he just broke on my face, amen." Then there's that old favourite when someone strikes you on the cheek, offer them the other one also (Luke 6:29). I'll stop there. Whether or not you agree with the literal applications of these commands, the heart behind them speaks of a love for God and for people that reminds me a lot of insanity! That voice pipes up "Hey, God doesn't want you to be a doormat, you're the head and not the tail."
But this love says "I won't just be a doormat, I'll be a staircase. If you want, you can walk all over me but I will do everything in my power to make sure that when you're done, you've been blessed, elevated, propelled forward and you've seen something of Jesus." Clearly a life implementing this kind of love requires supernatural power. Where does that power come from? What do we do about the other voice?

Final Thoughts
     Truthfully? I don't know. Everything I've shared with you is from thoughts that I am having and convictions that I'm feeling so I'm not going to pretend to have the answers. I'm still on a quest with all of this like everyone else but I'm starting to understand that I am far more able to be intentional about it than I'd like to admit! I know that I've said practically nothing of the rewards of running hard after God but I think we've got a pretty good grasp of that already. I hope that you can appreciate and maybe even identify with my experience, my honesty and my very one-sided thinking. If you feel like I've offended you in any way that is not my intention, I just want to be honest and move forward with anyone else that wants to. I don't want to rationalise my passion for God because I'd rather err on the side of going overboard for Jesus than staying in the boat and never walking on water with Him, even if it's only for a second. I want to be clear that I believe in being wise about things, I believe in not thrusting ourselves into danger for the sake of it or wiping ourselves out to the point that we can no longer function. I think that the voice I mentioned at times can be straight from the mouth of God through Godly people but at other times can be employed by the enemy or our own love of comfort to keep us as individuals and as the Church from entering into a greater manifestation of Christ in our lives. When we don't know the overshadowing and enveloping love of the Father by intellect and experience we can be tempted to create doctrines and interpret Scripture in a way that will protect us and make us feel safe and secure in case God doesn't, forgetting that the Holy Spirit is our Comforter because our lives are made to be uncomfortable. I do however think that we need to learn how to ask and trust God as our loving Father to set limits for us so that we can go wild in expressing our love for Him while being conscious of our limitations instead of setting our own limitations, living only within our finite means of love, grace, energy etc and cutting ourselves off from having to rely on Him.

     For some people reading this, it will sound like utter madness and that's fine. I'm only 24 and I'm sure my thoughts and opinions will change on certain things over time so if what I've said doesn't stir anything in your heart and the Holy Spirit doesn't speak to you, ok. I can't force my convictions on you because I didn't even get them for myself but I pray we'll all come into a greater experience of Christ-likeness and raw life-consuming love for God in our Christianity. But let me talk to the people who are either stirred, excited or just plain frothing at the mouth while reading this! FAN THAT FLAME!! Sit and think about the excitement of throwing your whole life at Jesus in whatever way He wants and then pray and ask Him how to do it!! Find people, books, films and podcasts that don't massage your apathy but rip it out of you and stuff your soul full of dynamite!!! BURN BABY BURN!!! Don't allow people around you to quench your fire!! Honour every person for where they're at in their relationship with God, don't judge them, be gracious to them but don't you dare settle for less than what He's put in your heart! Press yourself into the secret place and ask God to impart His heart to you continually to keep transforming you to be more like Jesus!! Don't give in after 2 weeks when it seems like nothing has changed. Press in!! Ask God to link you with others who are jumping out of the lukewarm bubble bath and putting on their robes of radical righteousness!! Our God is an all-consuming fire and you know you want your whole life to burn for Him!!

     In the Luke 14 passage Jesus uses the example of a man building a tower to describe what it's like to count the cost of giving our lives to Him. This tells me that after I've made the decision to follow Christ, there is a process I go through (building) in establishing a new life. How long does it take to build a tower? How long is a piece of string? Continually and intentionally building with the Chief Architect is what's important. Why didn't Jesus say a man building a house? I reckon that this continual building and laying down of bricks (or idols, whatever) should eventually lead to a life that is fortified against negative outside influence and that has a higher and greater perspective of the world than before. We're all at different stages in this process. Some of us will be laying the foundations of our faith, understanding our new identity in Christ, others will be placing bricks,  laying to rest old habits, attitudes and ways of life and some of us are figuring out whether or not we've got the correct change to make this decision to follow Christ and start building at all. Maybe you've given up altogether but could be persuaded to start again... Wherever you're at, be honest about where you're at and don't convince yourself that you're further on simply because yours is the tallest tower around you. Every house cat think it's a tiger : ) Remember that His yoke is easy and His burden is light because He gives us the strength to carry it.

I pray that we will fully use the freedom we have been given in Christ to love God and that the Holy Spirit would enable us to pursue Him with unbridled passion like a wild stallion and that the Father would be free to tell us when we're loving too much.

Thanks for reading!

"Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealousy is fierce as the grace. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised."
Song of Solomon 8:6-7 (ESV)

If you read all this way and didn't go listen to Banning, you want to. Here he is again! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ekKgF8jxlk

End Notes
*I realised when I wrote this that I've been a Christian for half my life! That made me really happy! It also made me a little sad that in 12 years time I won't be able to say I've been a Christian my whole life...

Telling Stories to Children

“Much that once was, is lost for none now live who remember it.” - Galadriel

Real People, Real Relationships - Vulnerability

This is a post I've been waiting to write for a while. I really hope it helps you and brings you freedom.

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Proverbs 27:6 (NIV)

But the LORD God called to the man, "Where are you?"
Genesis 3:9 (NIV)

     I've gotten quite passionate about vulnerability in the last year. I looked up the origin of the word vulnerable and it comes from the same word as "wound". Vulnerability is basically the ability to be wounded or harmed. I'm currently on a quest (I prefer the word quest to journey because it has a definite purpose and just sounds more exciting!) learning about the power and significance of vulnerability in my life and how it is linked to true love, true intimacy and true freedom. I'm not talking about being the scrawny kid who gets picked on because he can't defend himself. I'm talking more about the decision to make yourself vulnerable to God and to others. I'm saying that vulnerability is not a weakness but a display of strength. I was thinking one day about whether or not God is vulnerable because we're (Christians) supposed to act like Him right? I was struck with the thought that Jesus modelled vulnerability to the max by setting aside Heaven and His immortality to come close to us. Close enough for us to touch Him with our hands. Close enough for us to kill Him. While He was on the Earth even though He knew all of His disciples would abandon Him, He brought them close to Him (Mark 14:27). He even made Judas the betrayer a disciple and allowed Him to share in His incredible life for 3 years!! Jesus' example of vulnerability shows that it is a risk because of what people are like but it's also completely necessary to have real depth in any relationship.

     I'll explain a little more of what I mean by vulnerability because clearly I'm not saying "hey let's all go hang out with people we think might want us dead..." By vulnerability I mean opening our hearts, our thoughts and emotions to people and giving them the power to analyse and accept, reject or correct them. It's about living your life in such a way that those close to you can see into your heart and express to you what they think about it. I find this can be the scariest thing in the world but it's completely necessary if I want to have real relationships with real people. Without this my relationships remain superficial and I can never really connect on a deeper level. I firmly believe that Intimacy doesn't exist without vulnerability.

     When I was a kid my brother and I used to break things quite regularly. We were pretty hyper kids so we'd be climbing all over everything and swinging from everything and throwing everything around! Eventually the inevitable would happen and we'd have to find a way to fix it or hide it before our parents returned home. We actually got better and better at this as we got older! When it comes to worship and encountering God vulnerability is again completely essential. I've definitely had times in my life where I've tried to come to sing to God in church or wherever when in my heart I've been doing everything I can to make sure He doesn't see that issue or that attitude I'm trying to hide from Him because "I know what He'll say." I want to try and fix it myself or just hide it from Him and distract Him with my loud singing. As a result I would go a long time never really connecting with God. My thoughts about myself would change because I wouldn't be making room in my heart to listen to what He was saying about me. My thoughts about Him would change too and become warped. It's like trying to keep track of a friend's life through facebook without actually speaking to them! You get a distorted image. When I would eventually come to Him and lay my heart open and be honest about all that I was going through and make a conscious decision to verbalise it to Him (even though I know He knows) it would make room for Him to step in and do something. It's just quitting pretending that I don't know He sees it anyway and giving Him the freedom to say what He wants to say to me about it and to help me deal with it. This is where Proverbs 27:6 comes in. What greater friend is there than Him? He may have to wound me where necessary e.g. in my pride in order to cut out what is damaging to me but I know that He will build me up and encourage me, replacing lies I've believed with His truth and wash me clean with His word. I like to call this open-heart surgery : )

     In  1Samuel 19, Saul tries to kill David but comes into the presence of God and ends up stripping off his armour and prophesying all day and all night. I believe this is like an example for us of what can happen when we come into God's presence. We remove our armour and the things we use to protect ourselves and make us appear strong and we surrender to His unrelenting love and choose to speak only what He says about us all day and all night. This is true worship. When we come before Him as we are, warts and all but choose to say what He says and see what He sees. As we experience His love and His forgiveness it drives us into a deeper place of worship where even more healing and building up can be done. When Adam sinned and hid himself God called to him and asked him where he was at. This was God offering Adam the opportunity to be vulnerable and so restore intimacy to their relationship. Adam started off well "I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid." but he then shifted the blame to God and to Eve "The woman YOU put here with here with me..." God is always offering us the chance to live in intimacy with Him through vulnerability. Let's come to Him without excuses and lay our hearts open before Him knowing that the One who knows us best loves us most.

     In the song "I Bruise Easily" by Natasha Beddingfield she makes a pretty deep statement that reminds us that our vulnerability should be guided by wisdom: "Anyone who can touch you can hurt you or heal you."  I know plenty of people who've been hurt by being open with people in the past and as a result no longer want to. The trouble is our vulnerability actually protects us in the long run.I really want to emphasise how important it is for us to have intimate relationships that are guided by wisdom. If we throw our hearts open to anyone and everyone we meet we'll end up with a lot of wounds that are unnecessary and unhelpful and we may then become bitter towards the thought of being vulnerable at all. I should also say however that a resistance to being vulnerable with people can also come from a place of simply wanting to do what you want as Proverbs 18:1 says: "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgement."

     Think about Jesus and His disciples. He followed everywhere by crowds but He had His specially selected 12. Within the 12 he had His specially selected 3, Peter James and John. When Jesus was going to be betrayed He told all the disciples to pray but He took Peter James and John further on into the garden to pray and then it says that He then displayed what was really in His heart (Matthew 26:37) Having people in our lives that we can be completely open and honest with is huge! These should be people who over time have demonstrated that they're committed to our well-being and our personal and spiritual development and not just telling us that we're right all the time. People that will challenge us in love and help us to stay in humility. I think it's important to partner with the Holy Spirit and ask Him who He has put in our lives for this purpose and to pursue them!

     As I mentioned Jesus' vulnerability and His closeness to us also meant that we could kill Him but it also meant that people could come close enough to touch Him and be healed! Vulnerability also makes it possible for us to share the good things that are in us with other people! It's really important that we are vulnerable with people in our lives as well as with God partly because they well enable to see things with their added perspective and different experiences of life but also because the good things that God has put in our hearts flow out when we make ourselves vulnerable. Accountability is a buzz word that gets thrown around in the Christian world a lot but essentially it means being vulnerable, living your life in such a way that you can be questioned and corrected by others because you are honest and open about what is going on in your heart. I think this is particularly important in the areas of our lives where we are leaders and have influence over others whether that's at home, in the Church or in the workplace. I was at a conference recently and I heard a leader say something like this: "When we learn to be vulnerable we create a safe space around us as leaders. People find it's ok to not be ok." I think that's awesome! I used to believe that if you're the one in charge it's important to maintain the illusion of control and I think there's an element of truth in that but I don't think it's the whole story. Whenever you have someone in charge who appears to be perfect a culture of performance can quickly develop around them as everyone under them tries to be perfect too. People are empowered and released when leaders demonstrate that it's possible to function in the kingdom and be accepted and used by God while you're still working with Him to sort through your mess! However if people discover that they're leaders aren't perfect and have created the illusion that they are they turn on them very quickly. We've all seen and heard about the different scandals and most of them come from a lack of vulnerability with God and with people. Ian Rossol says: "Accountability isn't just about someone pointing out your faults, it's about someone holding you to your calling." Vulnerable relationships are mutually beneficial.

     In conclusion, vulnerability when done correctly is essential having real relationships with real people. I've really only scratched the surface here and there are many important things I've missed so I'd love to hear YOUR further thoughts about it.

Thanks for reading! I really hope this helps you on your quest.