Real People, Real Relationships - Freedom and Grace

17Now the Lord^e is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord,^f are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.

2Corinthians 3:17-18 (ESV)

Have a listen to this song before we dive in! Feel free to dance...

     FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOM!!!! I've been excited to write this post for quite a while so I hope you enjoy it and that it helps provoke you to enjoy the fullness of your freedom in Christ! I've been hearing a lot of things about freedom  that I feel  misrepresent, abuse or cheapen it which have upset me and I'd like to address some of those things but most of all I hope to paint a picture of the true nature of the freedom that was won for us at the cross! Of course that sounds like I think I have all the answers and I don't so please read with discernment and go to the Word, Berean style (Acts 17:11) There is plenty of opportunity for offence in here so I pray that you hear His heart over my words. Enjoy : )

     I was thinking about the phrase "Freedom in Christ" the other day and just pondering what it really meant. I believe that freedom in Christ is a precious and invaluable gift we have been given and so I really want to use it to its fullest and steward it well! Apparently every cell in your body contains your DNA (back me up anatomy people) which is the written code of what makes up your physical body. If I were to take a cell from anywhere in your body and was able to read your DNA I'd be able to tell not only that that cell belongs to you but from it I'd also be able to tell you other things such as your eye colour and your blood type etc. I feel like I'm over-stepping the boundaries of my biological knowledge with this analogy now so I guess what I notice first about this freedom is that it is IN Christ and I think that is essential to really getting the nature of it. Our repentance and faith in Jesus that we received by grace separated us from our old life as God gave us new life placing us in Christ. Anything that is found in Christ is going to filled with His DNA, His genetic makeup, in essence His attitudes and values. That includes us and our freedom. I believe that our freedom in Christ is first a freedom from the law of sin and death (meaning that we are no longer bound to sin and separated from God but rather we have been freed from sin and returned to our relationship with God, reconciled) and secondly a freedom to become like Him. As He was free from sin, He has made us free from sin also by sacrificing Himself in our place. When we die to ourselves we live in His life and He lives His life in us and through us. Basically this just means that we walk, talk and act more like Jesus. 

     There's a tradition in a lot of secondary or high schools to pull some sort of prank when you are leaving and about to move on to the next stage of your education. I don't think I've ever heard a story where all of the final year students came in on their last day to hug their teachers, give them gifts and thank them for their hard work and sacrifice. Typically cunning acts of sabotage and theft occur with either humorous or costly results. Liberated from the school rules, the students' true feelings towards the school and the teachers are quickly exposed and displayed. The freedom that Christ gives us is a gift that keeps on giving because it exposes what's really going on in our hearts so that with the help of the Holy Spirit, we can deal with it. When we respond to our freedom in ways that don't reflect the beauty of the nature of Jesus it should set off some alarm bells and cause us to question what's going on in our hearts and what is our true value of Him. Paul addresses this a bit, replying to something someone had said to him about their freedom in Christ.

     “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.

1Corinthians 6:12 (ESV)

I think it can be very tempting to act according to the flesh and then justify it by claiming freedom in Christ. Personally I think that is one of the most offensive things a Christian can do. I think it is an abuse and a mockery of the grace of God in Christ who died to free us from obeying the flesh. It's wilfully going against our new nature of righteousness, hurting the heart of God and then trying to use God's gift of freedom in Christ to excuse our behaviour. Before you envision me on a high horse, I have done it too. But it is NOT ok! If my "freedom in Christ" leads me to give authority to carnality and fleshly desires in my life, maybe I need to consider what it means to be dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus (Rom 6:11). If my "freedom in Christ" leads me to act more like the world, maybe I need a greater experience of who He is and what He is like (1John 2:6). If my "freedom in Christ" leads me to do less for the Lord and more for myself, maybe I need to check if I have any faith at all (James 2:26) If my "freedom in Christ" leads me back into slavery to sin, maybe I need to check the best-before date or make a complaint to whoever sold it to me. 

Our freedom in Christ is supposed to empower us, not take away our responsibility. 

     Our life in Christ is an altogether new life. It's not about giving new life to our old self but instead putting our old self to death and bringing forth a new self that is just like Jesus (2Cor 3:18). I don't really want to get into sanctification but I'll just say that life as a Christian is about uncovering what Christ is like and therefore who He has made us to be. This means that each day I look, think, speak and act less like my old self and more like Him. When we abuse freedom we preach a false Christ and a false gospel that essentially says "Come to Jesus as you are and stay as you are. His love is unconditional so just accept Him then you can do whatever you want and still go to heaven." I believe this is an incredibly damaging perversion of the message of grace because it robs the cross of its power and the kingdom of the King's purpose. Salvation is not just about escaping hell and punishment but it is being delivered from the power of sin  not just in action but right down to the level of thought and intent until my heart becomes like Eden where I can walk in intimacy with God in unbroken communion. The gospel promises a change of heart as well as eternal destination. Our King desires His people be transformed into a kingdom of priests (Rev 1:4-6) who reflect and project the holiness of God to the world (1Peter 1:15-16). 

     I had a friend when I was a teenager (who is still a much loved and valued friend today) who used to challenge me very directly on how my life was matching up with the life God had called me to in the Scriptures. I remember one occasion where she asked me what I thought of Ephesians 5:4 (go check it out) At the time I'd been hanging around with a group of Christians who frequently engaged in coarse jokes and rude films and would tell others to "lighten up" if their behaviour was challenged. Freedom for some of us has become a shield that we use to protect our sinful or immoral practices from the wisdom and counsel of others. It's not easy to have our lifestyle challenged by other people especially in a world where relativism and individual autonomy is glorified. This way of thinking and living can creep into the Church and cause us to recoil in offence when someone questions our actions or our way of life even if they are straight from Scripture and the heart of God. Grace is and always will be an outrageous truth about God and our relationship with Him. When describing it to the Romans, Paul had to emphasise that the power and availability of grace didn't mean we should continue to sin (Rom 6:1+15) Grace isn't a licence to live in sin, it's a licence to kill it! 

     Swearing, initiating or enjoying dirty humour, getting drunk and having sex outside marriage have probably been the most common things that I've heard Christians try to justify using freedom and grace but if I use my freedom in Christ to act like the world who benefits? I don't because I stop being conformed to His image. They don't because I show them a lifestyle that is just like theirs and either they jump on the bandwagon of half-hearted consecration that leads to death (Rev 3:16)or they reject my hippy Jesus altogether because clearly He has no power to transform and there's no real difference between life with Him and life without Him. Jesus definitely doesn't benefit because the people He wants to know Him end up with a warped view of who He is.  Paul makes it pretty clear when He says that living by the flesh leads to death but living by the Spirit leads to life. In Romans 8:13 Paul tells us that living by the Spirit actually means killing sin, so life in the Spirit is a life of uprooting sinful attitudes and behaviours by the power and grace of the Holy Spirit to make room for the seeds of the oaks righteousness (Isaiah 61:3)that is continually being unveiled in us. There is a higher call! If our freedom is leading us into being conformed to the ways of the world, we're in trouble! (Rom 12:2) We tend to be led into cycles of bondage or addiction where we don't utilise our self-control that exists within our freedom and it begins to wither. It's important to remember that a clean conscience and a seared conscience are not the same thing. A clean conscience has conversed and agreed with the Holy Spirit that all is well in our thoughts and motives. A seared conscience has become numb to the voice and promptings of the Lord through continued disobedience or through our desire to do something being greater than our desire to please the Lord. 

     Just because you "feel at peace about it" doesn't mean it's ok. The fact that God hasn't directly spoken to you about it doesn't mean it's ok. I'd soon find myself in jail if a police officer came round to my crack den to arrest me and I told him "It's ok, I feel like this ok for me to do. I feel at peace about it." If you're in a place where no one can bring challenge or correction into your life unless you agree with them, you're in trouble. As Kris Vallotton says, "the very nature of deception is that you don't know you're deceived." 


     Celebrating freedom in Christ is a beautiful thing! I had a friend text me once to tell me that he was struggling with lust and temptation to look at porn and he wanted me to pray with him. We then had a text convo backwards and forwards just laughing at the idea of him giving in to a defeated foe! We laughed at the thought of him succumbing to temptation when his default is righteousness. We laughed at the idea of him choosing lesser pleasure over Divine pleasure. The temptation went away and he just went to sleep haha. FREEDOM!! There was a time when he was "bound" to sin. It was inevitable. But now he has been "unbound" by the ultimate Freedom Fighter! And for the rest of us there was a time when we were hell-bound but now we've been set free and whom the sets free is free indeed!! (John 8:36) I am free to pray for the sick and see them healed!! I am free to show supernatural love to my enemies in the face of persecution!! I am free to love the Lord with all my heart, soul, mind and strength!! I am free to experience a relationship of intimacy and obedience with the God who can see all of time, past present and future without even moving His eyes! ("God's Pursuit of Man" - A.W Tozer) I'm so free!! I'm free to love the poor to the point of personal loss because I know that God will provide what I need. Go and find your favourite songs about freedom in Christ and have a rave! Or maybe just sit and think about what He has saved you from and thank Him. 



Jesus you stood alone and took on sin to become our great Saviour! Thank you Lord! Without you were are dead and we are nothing. Thank you for sharing your life with us and making us sons and daughters of God. Thank you for filling us with Your Spirit and daily making us more like you. Help us to desire to see more of our lives given over to You and Your kingdom. Help us not settle for second best or mediocre. Show us how beautiful you are so that the things of the world pale in comparison and we don't want to hold on to them. We want to be salt and light in the world, fully representing you, Your freedom and Your grace.
Amen

Thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings : ) 

Braveheart Quotes

Last night I watched Mel Gibson's Braveheart... again. Decided to chuck up some great quotes from the movie. Enjoy! (I know it's apparently not historically accurate so this is not a political statement, just a reflection on an awesome film) If you haven't seen it, get involved! Although I should say also that I've realised my tolerance for gore has been significantly reduced over the last few years and I definitely spent a lot of time looking away from the screen! Be warned!

Malcolm Wallace (William's father)
As a child, William wants to go with his dad to fight some bad guys and his dad pats him on the head and replies:
     "I know you can fight, but it's our wits that make us men."

Later in a dream William's father says to him:
     "Your heart is free, have the courage to follow it."

William Wallace (The Legend)
While the greedy and selfish nobles of the Scottish clans are arguing amongst themselves about who should be the king, William turns to leave and they ask him where he is going and he replies:
     "There's the difference between us. You think that the people of this country exist to provide you with position. I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom. And I go to make sure that they have it."

In challenging one of the prominent nobles to be brave and lead the people Wallace says:
     "Men don't follow titles, they follow courage."

I won't ruin this bit for you but at some point Wallace assures someone that:
     Every man dies. Not every man really lives.


There are tons of other quotes that just won't make sense out of context. Go watch it! Unless you're under 15...

Thanks for reading!

Real People, Real Relationships: Rejection

I think rejection effects most of us on lots of different levels to different degrees. Rejection and its effects can last a lifetime, creating a new lifestyle for us and so its presence will definitely affect our relationships with each other. I guess we should start with the question: "What is rejection?" We experience a negative feeling  in a moment where we believe that something of our personhood e.g. our presence, our ideas or our affection are undesired by another or a group. When we're young this often shapes the way we view the world and causes us to want to protect ourselves from experiencing that feeling again. So the way I'm describing it, rejection is a spirit (or a mindset) of "unwantedness" that colours our perceptions of life and relationships with others. 

When this happens early on in life it has the potential to define our personality and our self-perception. People who succumb to rejection can develop a low level of self esteem and personal value because that is the message they have received from other people. Believing this to be true about themselves, they adopt a lifestyle to match that self-image which can take many forms, some which are hard to see and others which blindingly obvious. Maybe we no longer try to make friends because we don't believe anyone would want to be our friend. Maybe we stop putting our hand up in class because we were laughed at by the class or by the teacher. Maybe we start stalking the one person who showed us kindness, spending hours on their facebook page, texting and calling them at all hours to try and feel close to someone again.

 Rejection can enter our lives in a very small way to start with but when we continue to agree with its lies to us (yup LIES) that we are of no value, we allow its power to grow and spread to other areas of our lives. It creates a new for of logic and deduction for us to check out the world with. Here's an example. Let's say I'm in secondary school (high school if you're american) and I confidently raise my hand to answer the teacher's question, certain that I've got it right. The whole class including the teacher erupts into laughter when I give my hilariously inaccurate answer. Rejection whispers to me "don't put your hand up any more, you have nothing to offer to these people." I agree. Someone in the class has a party at the weekend and everyone receives an invite apart from me. In reality my invitation has been left somewhere for me but Rejection says "You're not invited because you're not wanted." I think to myself, well Rejection has been right so far so I don't ask if I am invited or not. Throughout my life I can then follow this pattern of behaviour. I never put any of my new ideas forward in the workplace, I never ask a group if I can hang out with them. To people on the outside it may seem as though I'm just "shy" or "quiet" when  actually I'm a prisoner of Rejection, trapped in a self-built cage of loneliness. (Just to be clear I'm not saying that everyone who is shy or quiet struggles with rejection)

Rejection either makes us distance ourselves from people or it causes us to latch on to anyone who gets close to us, neither of which is healthy behaviour. Distancing ourselves may not just be physical distance e.g. sitting alone hiding behind a book. It can also include keeping our distance emotionally or in our personality with people which means that we're never honestly ourselves with people. Rejection is therefore the enemy of true Freedom and is rooted in Fear which is the enemy of Love. These two working together keep us from receiving the love we need from God and from others because most of us only accept the love we believe we deserve. Rejection also partners with Insecurity ensuring that we're only ever fully ourselves around people who are like us. This is how a lot of exclusive groups and cliques form. When Rejection has a voice in our lives we feel uncomfortable around people who aren't like us and perhaps we tone down certain aspects of our personality in those situations or act like we just don't care at all. Rejection is the enemy of integrity which is our ability to live on the outside who we are on the inside. Rejection eats at our integrity and gives birth to compromise in our lives by making us put on a false self. We find any external evaluation of ourselves uncomfortable or even scary so we pretend that we don't care what others think of us or we try really hard to impress people so they don't reject us. A classic example is the child hanging out with the friends of an older sibling. They will try hard to be liked and to be cool, pretending to not be scared of watching horror films.

The loneliness that accompanies Rejection can make us VERY sensitive to affection and so the second we meet someone who is nice to us or who listens to us or who tells us something positive about ourselves, we immediately try to form a concrete bond with them in the hope that they will never leave us and continue to feed us the love we've so desperately craved for so long. I think I see this most clearly in unhealthy teenage relationships. Rejection assaults teenagers aggressively and so there are plenty of young people (who grow into older people) who feel marooned on islands of solitude because no one "understands them". Perhaps they pretend to be happy about it, or nonchalant about it. Perhaps they've never really known anything else. Then one day a boy or girl comes along who apparently does understand them. "Oh my gosh Becky, he just gets me, you know?" "I can't explain it bro, it's just like she really sees me, you know?" Very quickly they become obsessed with this person and start their mission to lock this person into their life. Sometimes this person is equally lonely or has a saviour complex and this quickly develops into a very unhealthy relationship. As we get older these relationships may not even be romantic in nature but Rejection is still the driving force. Sometimes the person being pursued is shocked by the sudden new attachment to their lives. They begin to feel uncomfortable with the level of closeness and the consistency of communication this person is trying to have with them and it begins to make them not want to be around this person. They feel drained after spending time with them and the thought of spending more time with them becomes depressing. Remember the one who is under the influence of Rejection still has little value for themselves and so they come to the relationship to take and receive, thinking that they don't really have anything to give. If the person they are pursuing withdraws from them Rejection picks up the slack quickly confirming "See, nobody values you because there is nothing to value." Rejection often justifies itself in people saying "Of course people won't like me I'm too...or I'm not...enough." Constant self criticism, evaluation and analysis becomes normal or maybe we even ignore ourselves altogether. This can make us look really humble or even spiritual but it is actually low self esteem on steroids.

Hopefully at this point you've been able to identify the effects of Rejection in your own life or in the lives of people you know. If not, go back and read through again. If you think you're good and Rejection has no voice whatsoever in your life then look for the benefit of others in your life. Don't force it and blow things out of proportion but instead be honest with yourself and if that is difficult ask the Lord or ask a close friend what they think (if that thought scares you, you might be on to something). I think it's very important that the presence of Rejection is recognised in our lives. Why? It will help us to recognise when we are developing unhealthy relationships with people either because they are love-starved or because we are. It will help us to recognise when fear has become a motivator in our lives to keep us away from people that can help us. But most importantly We have to deal with Rejection otherwise we can never truly love. Love involves risk and rejection avoids it like the plague. Love empowers us to run headlong into the possibility of rejection without fear. Let's take a look at Jesus in Luke 19. He's coming into Jerusalem, overflowing with love but knowing that they are going to reject Him.

41As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.”

The crazy thing to me is that He didn't stop! He knows that they are going to reject Him. He knows that they are going to mock Him. He knows that they are even going to kill Him but He pushes on, propelled by the love in His heart for people. He knows that the message He carries and the blood in His veins are of infinite, unparalleled value. True Love risks rejection and overcomes it. The only way we can overcome Rejection is by hearing the voice of the One who always accepts us and listening to what He says about us. When we allow God to speak His love and value over us and let it permeate our hearts, minds and emotions, it reveals the truth of who we are and strengthens us to live from a place of security (I'd like to write about insecurity soon) instead of trying to get to one through all sorts of avenues.

The presence of Rejection in our lives is not ok. It gives us a cracked lens to see the world through and warps our perception of our relationships with other people. It is a controlling influence in our lives that desires to keep us out of healthy connections with people that are mutually beneficial and uplifting. It can rob us of our identity and cause us to live life as a performance as someone else. It starves us of love, making us emotionally callous or uncomfortably desperate to touch others which can drive them away. Rejection wants to trap us in such cycles. Freedom from Rejection is a must! When we live free from rejection we are able to let others judge us, hearing and considering their thoughts without letting their judgements harm us.

Father thank you for Your love. Thank you Lord that You know us best and You love us most. Help us to value ourselves and each other by the standard of Your love. We break agreement with Rejection and its lies about us and we receive Your truth that we are loveable and valuable. Help us to draw out the good that You've breathed into us and to display it to others for Your glory. We receive Your love in the name of Jesus.
Amen.

Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Thanks for reading

My friend Caleb Meakins is subjecting himself to 40 Days of Rejection to help him overcome his fear of rejection and inspire others to do the same. Check his hilarious videos and blog here: http://my40days.co.uk/

Poem - My Grace is Sufficient

Questions, questions, all I have is questions.
Can I do this? Am I strong enough? Do I have what it takes?
A cacophony of questions meets the echo of answers long past.
“No you can’t. No you’re not. No you don’t.”
I fall to my knees as belief bleeds out from me and my heart grows cold, weary from dreaming. Trying hurts. Why try when I can lie in dust of defeat? I’ll be coming here later anyway...
“Ask Me.” That voice. Beauty and terror at the same time, delight and dread intertwined.
Each word pulsating with power and radiating with love, calling me; daring me to obey.
“Ask Me.” The voice that chased away the darkness in the beginning does the same in depths of my heart as the light of hope burns brighter than ever before in me.
I turn my affections towards Him and brace myself as my heart asks the questions. Before my lips can give the external echo I am completely undone.
I burst with faith as His strength rips through my weakness and brings it to nothing.
The roar of a lion shakes the foundations of age-old strongholds and they begin to crumble.
I feel His life invade my veins, every cell in my body is revitalised, reshaped and remade, primed with passion and purpose.
Insecurity flees to the shadows as the Truth illuminates the darkest parts of my mind.
“My grace is sufficient for you.” He says.
I have to agree.